Seems as if life continues..
no one honestly catches a break, I've learned. Aunt dies.. another one is sent into a coma.
Still not talking to my father. Still was never any services for my aunt because
my uncle's grudge is much more important than his widow's death wishes. evil.
Searching for homes with my boyfriend.. right move? let's hope. We have been at each other's throat
with a lot of stuff.. and been trying to figure some things out.. and. i don't know
if they are figured out.. but.. working on it?
I went to Dave and Buster's the other night. AHH. nice/horrible/fun/exciting/exhausting night.
Didn't think all those could be together, huh? haha.
First. we get there.. and are playing games.. all the flashy lights kind of.. threw me for a whirl wind.
then.. we were waiting for.. the other. "swingers" to show up. [it was a meet and greet.]..
and, took about an hour or so for all of us to finally get together. WELL.
my best friend's family.. happened to be there.. wasn't quite sure of whether or not they
were there for the swingers meet.. or .. for their own personal reasons.. so i was
skating on thin ice for about 2 hours. it was insane.
but turns out.. it was a personal deal for them. my best friend's dad goes back to Iraq .today.. i believe..
so, i'm sure it was a get out and have fun thing for them.
Met some interesting couples. got phone numbers.. and.. emails and what not.. looking forward to some more action
when the boyfriend gets back in town. he leaves tomorrow. ("_) oh well.
It's kind of upsetting.. i wanted to go back out with him.. and just.. be with him.. he was
still debating the issue in his head.. i hated it. I was.. sitting on fire for these past couple of days.
but.. kind of good/bad news.. my sister in law is about to have her baby.. and she needs someone to
cover her position at the newspaper.. until March. so, i'll be doing the layout design of our newspaper..
until March. So, no going back out with him.
I hate when he.. is still debating things in his head. but.. outside.. to me.. hes telling me..
certainty of things. I'll learn to get over it, like i do a lot of things.

Oh well. I'm sure i'm missing a lot of things on my mind, so.. you guys can look forward to reading more
crap from my end.
I'm tired of thinking.





(",)

no seriously.. i did. it was AMAZING!.. me and the boyfriend have been talking about swinging for quite a while a now.. and we made it happen last night with a very cute couple.. and.. nice too. I could see future hookups with them again. it was a quick.. in and out procedure.. but.. considering our time strains.. we did alright. it was AWESOME.

[dont be freaked out]

but it was just fun that like.. my boyfriend and the other girl got done with their little ruitine.. but me and the other guy.. were still going at it.. wellllll. my boyfriend decided to hop on the bed next to my head... and allow me to give him oral. IT WAS HOT. and then the girl he screwed.. was like.. rubbing all up on me. omg. WAS I IN HEAVEN.. mind you.. that guy it still... screwing.my.brains.out.

INTERESINTG? ....yes.

most definetely worth it all.

then the boyfriend and i.. went back to our little home.. and.. made woopy.. over and over again. then waking up,. and making rabbits of ourselves.

i recommend.. ORGIES ALL THE TIME. 

GRR. I seriously can't. Too much drama.. WELL. Yesterday I spent allll day with the boyfriend.. and since my brother are all RAWR with him right now.. he decided to buy them a Kelly Clarkson calendar to fight over, lol. i think that helped.. but the assholes still didnt stop with the nasty comments about him. theres nothing really wrong with the guy.. i over exagurate a lot of stuff.. and i get moody.. it comes with the pregnant part of me.. what can i say? lol. but.. he honestly.. makes me happy.. and does whatever he can to please me. he takes care of me.. what do they want from him.. riches? oh well. my dad is moving closer to us.. since my brothers wife is having her baby.. that doesnt make me too comfortable. im not liking my dad too much these days.. hes the one who started all this bullshit drama. my aunt isnt having any sort of funeral services.. because her husband insists in letting his pride ruin everything.. hes still persistant on his rugid attitude and horrid drama towards our family... we never did anything to him. he wouldnt even allow us to visit her in the hospital.. but you know what?.. we were the ones nursing her when she was sick from the cancer.. we were the ones.. giving her everything she needed.. while he was in iraq.. the least he could do.. was show us a little fucking appreciation for that. as of now.. im still homeless.. jobless.. and carless.. its not a wonderful feeling, at all. its got me completely stressed out.. COMPLETELY. oh well.

Ahh, what a hectic week.
First. Got into an argument with the boyfriend.. and ended up crying..
and calling my dad of all fucking people. He over exagurates the situation
and makes up some phony story about how my boyfriend was beating me and
that i have bruises all over me.. and my brothers should kick his ass.
Um, okay. dad..?.. i know how to defend myself. and if it DID happen..
i would be more than willing to let my brothers attack the sorry bastard..
BUT.. it didn;t happen. no bruises on me, nothing. but yet.. my brothers
keep insisting on being complete pricks about it. hurting me along the way.
fuck it.
Second.i might be pregnant. it wouldnt be too much of a bad thing.. but..
he doesn't seem so enthused about it.. like i am. hes had three daughters.. all
of which got ripped away from him.. so i understand but.. TRUST ME, MAYBE?! whatever
my mom got the urine test for me.. ill take that first.. and for second measures..
ill go to my friends clinic.. and she said shed give me a free blood test.
Third. my aunt just passed away, from cancer. its devestating.. i always told her
that i would go visit her soon.. and i put everything else in front of it. i
didnt prioritize it.. it hurts. and then to hear my dad say about her passing..
"its just another day, people day everyday.. ill probably be next".. is bullshit..
this is his sister. his parents are already dead.. how the hell?
Fourth. im lonely.
Fifth. my boyfriend is a cheater. :|
Sixth. im just not happy at the moment.